In your parent teenager relationship, you are probably mindful of sending positive messages to your teenager that affirms their worth and value as a human being. A powerful way to do this is through describing what you observe and summing up your teenager's praiseworthy behavior with a word or two. This is what experts call descriptive praise as opposed to evaluative praise.
Parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish speak of three simple steps in effectively praising your teenager that can educate and build self esteem.
Before describing the three steps, I want to make clear, the kind of praise that is most commonly employed in the parent teenager relationship, that is usually ineffective and even counterproductive.
Usually when parents praise their teenager, they issue an evaluation of sorts. This is conveyed through expressions such as: "That was a fantastic goal", "well done" or "excellent". Whilst conveyed with sincerity, it is far better to use descriptive praise.
The three ways to praise and build self esteem, with an example, is as follows.
1. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SEE. For example, "I can see books neatly arranged on shelves, a clean floor and a smooth bed".
2. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU FEEL. For example, "It's a pleasure to walk into this room".
3. SUM UP YOUR TEENAGER'S PRAISEWORTHY BEHAVIOR WITH A WORD. For example: "You sorted out your clothes and all your things so that you can easily access them anytime. That's what I call organization"
By employing descriptive praise in your parent teenager relationship, there are at least two major benefits.
Firstly, by offering your teenager a description of what you observe, your teenager will very naturally come to heap praise upon themselves. This will result in good and positive feelings. This kind of experience will serve as permanent point of reference on their growth toward positive self regard.
Secondly, your descriptive observation tells your teenager something about themselves that they may not have known before, giving them a new verbal snap shot of themselves. Learning what their strengths are, will naturally increase their self esteem.
Descriptive praise can be a very effective tool to raise your teenager's self esteem. In the process, your parent teenager relationship bond can be strengthened.
Parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish speak of three simple steps in effectively praising your teenager that can educate and build self esteem.
Before describing the three steps, I want to make clear, the kind of praise that is most commonly employed in the parent teenager relationship, that is usually ineffective and even counterproductive.
Usually when parents praise their teenager, they issue an evaluation of sorts. This is conveyed through expressions such as: "That was a fantastic goal", "well done" or "excellent". Whilst conveyed with sincerity, it is far better to use descriptive praise.
The three ways to praise and build self esteem, with an example, is as follows.
1. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU SEE. For example, "I can see books neatly arranged on shelves, a clean floor and a smooth bed".
2. DESCRIBE WHAT YOU FEEL. For example, "It's a pleasure to walk into this room".
3. SUM UP YOUR TEENAGER'S PRAISEWORTHY BEHAVIOR WITH A WORD. For example: "You sorted out your clothes and all your things so that you can easily access them anytime. That's what I call organization"
By employing descriptive praise in your parent teenager relationship, there are at least two major benefits.
Firstly, by offering your teenager a description of what you observe, your teenager will very naturally come to heap praise upon themselves. This will result in good and positive feelings. This kind of experience will serve as permanent point of reference on their growth toward positive self regard.
Secondly, your descriptive observation tells your teenager something about themselves that they may not have known before, giving them a new verbal snap shot of themselves. Learning what their strengths are, will naturally increase their self esteem.
Descriptive praise can be a very effective tool to raise your teenager's self esteem. In the process, your parent teenager relationship bond can be strengthened.
About the Author:
Are you currently experiencing a lot of frustration in dealing with your teenager? Are you finding that your parenting strategies are having little, if any, positive effect? If so, parenting expert, Paul Saver, is offering seven FREE parenting vids that are designed to save and even transform your parent teenager relationship . Just click on the link to get your FREE vids.
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