In our modern times with divorce and marital breakdown at an all time high, there is a high incidence of blended families. As a result there are more parents to complicate matters and more rules for the kids to follow. Consequently your parent teenager relationships can be strained.
For pre adolescent children, making the transition of getting used to a step parent is often less traumatic compared to teenagers who are more likely to feel cheated and betrayed.
If you are a single parent trying to start out all over again and begin dating someone, you may be in for one hell of a ride. You may very well experience a teenager who seems to always be angry, and who is rude and disrespectful toward your new partner.
Your teenager may not be able to stop themselves when they attack your new partner with comments like, "you can't tell me what I can and can't do" or "you are not my parent".
Your teenager may try some emotional blackmail like "if you really loved me, you would give him [the new partner] up" or "you really love him/her more than me".
From your point of view, you feel the right to love and happiness and you wonder "what's the big deal" and wish that your teenager could just accept it.
From your teen's point of view, they are already riding an emotional roller coaster because of the break up between you and your ex partner/spouse.
Gary Neuman, family relationship expert, argues that when a child goes through a divorce they feel like they have been torn apart since they are a composite of both their father and mother. In their heart, they just want mum and dad to get back together again. When they realize that this will not happen, it feels to them like the end of the world.
So how then do you as the parent, take responsibility, to welcome your new partner whilst at the same time helping your teen to cope as you continue to cultivate your parent teenager relationship?
Here are a few tips that can make life easier.
1. Recognize and validate your teenager's emotions.
2. Express your love and devotion to your teenager through your actions on a daily basis. Give her lots of hugs and kisses. Know their love language and keep their love tank full. Remind them constantly that your parent teenager relationship is unchanging and unconditional.
3. Request that your new partner gets involved in the life of your teenager by way of offering to support them in ways that are meaningful to your teen. This could include such things as helping them with their homework, teaching them how to drive, taking them to sports practice and so on.
4. Plan regular family meetings and doing lots of fun things together. Create new family traditions.
5. Be patient and be prepared to weather any emotional storm with a big and generous heart. Never make light of the emotional journey that your teenager is on.
By taking the above listed action steps your parent teenager relationship can be a source of strength and happiness.
For pre adolescent children, making the transition of getting used to a step parent is often less traumatic compared to teenagers who are more likely to feel cheated and betrayed.
If you are a single parent trying to start out all over again and begin dating someone, you may be in for one hell of a ride. You may very well experience a teenager who seems to always be angry, and who is rude and disrespectful toward your new partner.
Your teenager may not be able to stop themselves when they attack your new partner with comments like, "you can't tell me what I can and can't do" or "you are not my parent".
Your teenager may try some emotional blackmail like "if you really loved me, you would give him [the new partner] up" or "you really love him/her more than me".
From your point of view, you feel the right to love and happiness and you wonder "what's the big deal" and wish that your teenager could just accept it.
From your teen's point of view, they are already riding an emotional roller coaster because of the break up between you and your ex partner/spouse.
Gary Neuman, family relationship expert, argues that when a child goes through a divorce they feel like they have been torn apart since they are a composite of both their father and mother. In their heart, they just want mum and dad to get back together again. When they realize that this will not happen, it feels to them like the end of the world.
So how then do you as the parent, take responsibility, to welcome your new partner whilst at the same time helping your teen to cope as you continue to cultivate your parent teenager relationship?
Here are a few tips that can make life easier.
1. Recognize and validate your teenager's emotions.
2. Express your love and devotion to your teenager through your actions on a daily basis. Give her lots of hugs and kisses. Know their love language and keep their love tank full. Remind them constantly that your parent teenager relationship is unchanging and unconditional.
3. Request that your new partner gets involved in the life of your teenager by way of offering to support them in ways that are meaningful to your teen. This could include such things as helping them with their homework, teaching them how to drive, taking them to sports practice and so on.
4. Plan regular family meetings and doing lots of fun things together. Create new family traditions.
5. Be patient and be prepared to weather any emotional storm with a big and generous heart. Never make light of the emotional journey that your teenager is on.
By taking the above listed action steps your parent teenager relationship can be a source of strength and happiness.
About the Author:
Are you worn out and fed upover your current relationship with your teenager? At the same time do you remain hopeful that a breakthrough may be just around the corner ? If so, before you do anything else, get a hold of parenting expert, Paul Saver's seven FREE parenting videos which are designed to save and even upgrade your parent teenager relationship . Just click on the link.
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