William Glasser's Choice Theory has been widely advocated by parenting experts, teachers and leaders per se to replace external control psychology in raising youth. Whilst external control psychology is currently implemented widely by parents of toddlers and preadolescents without too much resistance, when used on teenagers, it becomes a major problem and threatens your parent teenager relationship.
External control psychology threatens, cajoles and punishes the recipient into submission, destroying the relationship. If applied in a parent teenager relationship, it clearly prevents both parent and teenager alike from experiencing satisfaction. Rather than connection, disconnection and alienation result.
Sometimes such a 'falling out' is seen as the grim reality in trying to raise teens as if it were inevitable. This has given birth to expressions like 'the generation gap'.
After more than three decades of expereince as a parent and teacher I have come to the conclusion that a division between parent and teenager is totally avoidable. In reality, the parent teenager relationship presents far reaching opportunities for a profound and deeply meaningful connection to be established.
William Glasser provides a series of words to describe Choice Theory and contrasts them with his External Control Theory.
Glasser's Seven Caring Habits Of Choice Theory include; supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting and negotiating differences.
Alternatively, Glasser's Seven Deadly Habits of External Control Theory include (in order); criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, bribing or rewarding to control.
The Seven Caring Habits tells us what a parent who applies a coaching philosophy does. If these practices are not the norm in your parent teenager relationship, then I daresay, that your relationship needs a transformation.
The Seven Deadly Habits unfortunately describes far too many of the parent teenager relationships in existence in today's world.
So if you are currently engaged in a parent teenager relationship it is time to do a relationship stocktake. If you are an enlightened parent and you are very happy with the way your relationship is tracking, then great. If not, fundamental changes are required. You have the choice to continue parenting your teen as if they were still a preadolescent and run the high risk of driving a wedge in your relationship that will most likely have a host of negative ramifications. Instead you decide to change your parenting style that is dominant in caring habits and that will serve your teen best.
The stakes are very high. Ultimately they include your teen's happiness and well being as well as yours. Your parent teenager relationship is pivotal.
External control psychology threatens, cajoles and punishes the recipient into submission, destroying the relationship. If applied in a parent teenager relationship, it clearly prevents both parent and teenager alike from experiencing satisfaction. Rather than connection, disconnection and alienation result.
Sometimes such a 'falling out' is seen as the grim reality in trying to raise teens as if it were inevitable. This has given birth to expressions like 'the generation gap'.
After more than three decades of expereince as a parent and teacher I have come to the conclusion that a division between parent and teenager is totally avoidable. In reality, the parent teenager relationship presents far reaching opportunities for a profound and deeply meaningful connection to be established.
William Glasser provides a series of words to describe Choice Theory and contrasts them with his External Control Theory.
Glasser's Seven Caring Habits Of Choice Theory include; supporting, encouraging, listening, accepting, trusting, respecting and negotiating differences.
Alternatively, Glasser's Seven Deadly Habits of External Control Theory include (in order); criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, bribing or rewarding to control.
The Seven Caring Habits tells us what a parent who applies a coaching philosophy does. If these practices are not the norm in your parent teenager relationship, then I daresay, that your relationship needs a transformation.
The Seven Deadly Habits unfortunately describes far too many of the parent teenager relationships in existence in today's world.
So if you are currently engaged in a parent teenager relationship it is time to do a relationship stocktake. If you are an enlightened parent and you are very happy with the way your relationship is tracking, then great. If not, fundamental changes are required. You have the choice to continue parenting your teen as if they were still a preadolescent and run the high risk of driving a wedge in your relationship that will most likely have a host of negative ramifications. Instead you decide to change your parenting style that is dominant in caring habits and that will serve your teen best.
The stakes are very high. Ultimately they include your teen's happiness and well being as well as yours. Your parent teenager relationship is pivotal.
About the Author:
Are you frustratedand worn out fighting with your teenager? Is your home more of a war zoneinstead of a place of comfort and peace? If this is your sad situation, you have arrived at the right place. Parenting expert, Paul Saver, is giving away seven FREE parenting videos that are formulatedto get your relationship back on track. So if your parent teenager relationship is in need of a transformation, just click on the link.
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