Are you currently less than happy in your parent teenager relationship? If so, read on to get a parenting tip that is gold and can fast track you on your path.
Being a parent to a teenager there are times when you need to speak up and hold your position on an issue. At other times the wisest thing to do is to shut your mouth and just listen, where less becomes more.
As a blogger and writer of parenting tips for parents of teenagers, I place a strong emphasis on the parent teenager relationship. The reason is simple. It is only when your teenager recognizes you the parent as part of their quality world, can you expect to exert a positive influence in their life.
Sadly, many parent teenager relationships end up in one way conversations with the parent doing most of the talking. Often the talking means commanding, demanding, cajoling, pleading or even begging with a few tears as well.
What can be done to turn around such a state of affairs where the teenager comes to think that what they say or do makes no difference to anything?
Bear in mind that authentic authority does is not gained through force. Neither is it lost by the parent placing themselves in the position of a student to learn from the child. As a teacher I always say that the best teachers are the best students.
So what can you do to immediately start creating a healthy parent teenager relationship, irrespective of where you have been?
As soon as you get the chance today, initiate a conversation with your teenager where they do at least 95% of the talking. Your lips are zipped as you listen to understand.
For conversation starters I have two suggestions. You can choose your own if you wish. Let's say that our teen's name is Joe.
Conversation starter #1. "Hey Joe. I was just thinking today with all the pressures and expectations placed on young people, how tough it must be to be a teenager".
Conversation starter #2. "You know Joe, I was a teenager once. I remember how my parents used to bug me. Now I am thinking that there is stuff I'm doing that is bugging you?"
Alternatively, pick an event or experience that your teen had and target their feelings. For example you could initiate a conversation by saying: "Hey Joe I noticed that you were really upset when your friend didn't show up...."
To do this well, there are a few ground rules. Bite your lip if you have to, but do not share your opinions, advice or ideas. The only kind of feedback allowed is saying things like "I hear what you are saying. Tell me more". "Mmm". "What does that mean for you?". Also you can ask questions to make sure you understand what they are saying. Remember, it's all about you building a wonderful parent teenager relationship so that your teenager comes to include you in their quality world.
Being a parent to a teenager there are times when you need to speak up and hold your position on an issue. At other times the wisest thing to do is to shut your mouth and just listen, where less becomes more.
As a blogger and writer of parenting tips for parents of teenagers, I place a strong emphasis on the parent teenager relationship. The reason is simple. It is only when your teenager recognizes you the parent as part of their quality world, can you expect to exert a positive influence in their life.
Sadly, many parent teenager relationships end up in one way conversations with the parent doing most of the talking. Often the talking means commanding, demanding, cajoling, pleading or even begging with a few tears as well.
What can be done to turn around such a state of affairs where the teenager comes to think that what they say or do makes no difference to anything?
Bear in mind that authentic authority does is not gained through force. Neither is it lost by the parent placing themselves in the position of a student to learn from the child. As a teacher I always say that the best teachers are the best students.
So what can you do to immediately start creating a healthy parent teenager relationship, irrespective of where you have been?
As soon as you get the chance today, initiate a conversation with your teenager where they do at least 95% of the talking. Your lips are zipped as you listen to understand.
For conversation starters I have two suggestions. You can choose your own if you wish. Let's say that our teen's name is Joe.
Conversation starter #1. "Hey Joe. I was just thinking today with all the pressures and expectations placed on young people, how tough it must be to be a teenager".
Conversation starter #2. "You know Joe, I was a teenager once. I remember how my parents used to bug me. Now I am thinking that there is stuff I'm doing that is bugging you?"
Alternatively, pick an event or experience that your teen had and target their feelings. For example you could initiate a conversation by saying: "Hey Joe I noticed that you were really upset when your friend didn't show up...."
To do this well, there are a few ground rules. Bite your lip if you have to, but do not share your opinions, advice or ideas. The only kind of feedback allowed is saying things like "I hear what you are saying. Tell me more". "Mmm". "What does that mean for you?". Also you can ask questions to make sure you understand what they are saying. Remember, it's all about you building a wonderful parent teenager relationship so that your teenager comes to include you in their quality world.
About the Author:
Are you less than content in your relationship with your teen? Does your teen consider you, the parent, to be a part of their quality world? If not, do not despair. There is hope. To transform your parent teen relationship get parenting expert, Paul Saver's seven FREE video's. Each video goes for less than five minutes and is like pure gold. Just click on the link.
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