Parenting expert Dr Laurence Steinberg says that "There is no more important job in society than raising children, and there is no more important influence on how children develop than their parents".
This is in stark contrast of our modern society that rewards people the least who take on human caring roles. Think for a moment of the salaries of nurses, teachers and in particular special education,aged care and child care workers compared to other professions.
Such a discrepancy causes many in these professions plus parents in general to often feel not only undervalued but to even question the worth of their role.
One way to do a reality check of the value of something is to imagine that you didn't have it. For example, how valuable is air? Well, if you didn't have air you would be dead in minutes. So air is pretty important.
When a human being enters our world and during their formative years up until adolesence, it is unquestionable that a child absolutely needs parents. Children who are left to grow up without parents are seriously at a disadvantage psychologically, emotionally, socially, physically and spiritually, which manifests in multiple ways.
A more trickier question is "to what extent do teens need their parents?" Said another way, how vital is the parent teenager relationship? It may appear that teenagers need or want parents in their lives less compared to when they were preadolescent.
Teenagers often talk about making their own choices and being independent causing many parents to 'back off', feel unwanted and not needed. But nothing could be further from the truth.
Teens need and want their parents involved in their lives absolutely. However unlike their preadolescent years they want their parents to relate to them in ways that value their uniqueness and their need for independence. The parent teenager relationship is absolutely vital to the growth, success and happiness of every teenager.
Parents who can make the transition from parenting a pre-adolescent to parenting an adolescent child, that is, a teenager, do best. Question marks arise in both the mind of a teenager and their parent about the worth and value of the parent teenager relationship when there is no transition in parenting style.
In other words when the parent does not change to match a growing and changing teenager, the teenager comes to feel misunderstood, ill treated and disrespected. The parent conversely comes to feel the same and both suffer from a meltdown in their parent teenager relationship.
The solution is simple but difficult to execute in that it requires spadefuls of courage, comittment, maturity and selflessness. In short it means that your parent teenager relationship is best described as a relationship where the parent plays the role of a coach. Many parents and teenagers who have embarked on this journey testify to the great meaningfulness and empowerment that they expereinced.
This is in stark contrast of our modern society that rewards people the least who take on human caring roles. Think for a moment of the salaries of nurses, teachers and in particular special education,aged care and child care workers compared to other professions.
Such a discrepancy causes many in these professions plus parents in general to often feel not only undervalued but to even question the worth of their role.
One way to do a reality check of the value of something is to imagine that you didn't have it. For example, how valuable is air? Well, if you didn't have air you would be dead in minutes. So air is pretty important.
When a human being enters our world and during their formative years up until adolesence, it is unquestionable that a child absolutely needs parents. Children who are left to grow up without parents are seriously at a disadvantage psychologically, emotionally, socially, physically and spiritually, which manifests in multiple ways.
A more trickier question is "to what extent do teens need their parents?" Said another way, how vital is the parent teenager relationship? It may appear that teenagers need or want parents in their lives less compared to when they were preadolescent.
Teenagers often talk about making their own choices and being independent causing many parents to 'back off', feel unwanted and not needed. But nothing could be further from the truth.
Teens need and want their parents involved in their lives absolutely. However unlike their preadolescent years they want their parents to relate to them in ways that value their uniqueness and their need for independence. The parent teenager relationship is absolutely vital to the growth, success and happiness of every teenager.
Parents who can make the transition from parenting a pre-adolescent to parenting an adolescent child, that is, a teenager, do best. Question marks arise in both the mind of a teenager and their parent about the worth and value of the parent teenager relationship when there is no transition in parenting style.
In other words when the parent does not change to match a growing and changing teenager, the teenager comes to feel misunderstood, ill treated and disrespected. The parent conversely comes to feel the same and both suffer from a meltdown in their parent teenager relationship.
The solution is simple but difficult to execute in that it requires spadefuls of courage, comittment, maturity and selflessness. In short it means that your parent teenager relationship is best described as a relationship where the parent plays the role of a coach. Many parents and teenagers who have embarked on this journey testify to the great meaningfulness and empowerment that they expereinced.
About the Author:
Are you currently frustrated and tired by your relationship with your teen? Are you looking for more helpful and meaningful ways to relate? If so, parent teen coach, Paul Saver has seven FREE videos that he is giving away that can help you revolutionise your parent teen relationship To get your FREE videos, just click on the link.
No comments:
Post a Comment