Are you guilty of abusing your teenager? I reckon the chances are are at least 99% if you include verbal abuse since any kind of 'put down' could be deemed abuse.
If so, I want to share with you six steps by which you can turn around your abusive behavior and constructively build your parent teenager relationship.
Step One. Pinpoint The First Sign Of Meltdown.
To change an undesirable behavior, begin by identifying the first sign that you are building toward a full blown expression of that particular behavior. It may be a raised voice, speaking more rapidly, a flushed face, an increased heart rate or whatever. Become aware of the first sign as part of a chain of behaviors.
Step Two. Determine to Cope.
You can identify the first sign of meltdown as an indicator that you will cope rather than as an indicator that you will meltdown. As soon as you recognize the first sign that you identified in Step One materializing, make the conscious decision to begin your coping sequence.
Step Three. Make A Left Field Response.
Instead of traveling along the route toward meltdown, do something you would not ordinarily do so that you avoid abusing your child. It could mean going outside or leaving the room, or whatever it takes.
Step Four. Share Your Story With Your Accountability Person.
Choose a family member, a friend or someone else whom you can be accountable to. Each time you have a win or a destructive thought, call this person and share what you feel.
Step Five. Enter Into Positive Interaction.
When you have passed your emotional charged state, return to your child, giving them some positive encouragement.
Step Six. Choose Counseling.
Select someone whom you can engage with on a regular basis who can act like a sounding board to your innermost thoughts and feelings. This person could be a family member, a religious minister, a social worker or simply a close friend who is a good listener and who can assist you on your life journey.
The choices you make in terms of your thoughts and feelings can empower you to seize control of your inner world, resulting in an end to destructive behaviors. Simultaneously you can be working toward building a great parent teenager relationship.
If so, I want to share with you six steps by which you can turn around your abusive behavior and constructively build your parent teenager relationship.
Step One. Pinpoint The First Sign Of Meltdown.
To change an undesirable behavior, begin by identifying the first sign that you are building toward a full blown expression of that particular behavior. It may be a raised voice, speaking more rapidly, a flushed face, an increased heart rate or whatever. Become aware of the first sign as part of a chain of behaviors.
Step Two. Determine to Cope.
You can identify the first sign of meltdown as an indicator that you will cope rather than as an indicator that you will meltdown. As soon as you recognize the first sign that you identified in Step One materializing, make the conscious decision to begin your coping sequence.
Step Three. Make A Left Field Response.
Instead of traveling along the route toward meltdown, do something you would not ordinarily do so that you avoid abusing your child. It could mean going outside or leaving the room, or whatever it takes.
Step Four. Share Your Story With Your Accountability Person.
Choose a family member, a friend or someone else whom you can be accountable to. Each time you have a win or a destructive thought, call this person and share what you feel.
Step Five. Enter Into Positive Interaction.
When you have passed your emotional charged state, return to your child, giving them some positive encouragement.
Step Six. Choose Counseling.
Select someone whom you can engage with on a regular basis who can act like a sounding board to your innermost thoughts and feelings. This person could be a family member, a religious minister, a social worker or simply a close friend who is a good listener and who can assist you on your life journey.
The choices you make in terms of your thoughts and feelings can empower you to seize control of your inner world, resulting in an end to destructive behaviors. Simultaneously you can be working toward building a great parent teenager relationship.
About the Author:
Parenting expert, Paul Saver, has been working with teens both professionally and personally for more than thirty years. If you arepresently unhappy in your parent teen relationship make certain you get a hold of Paul's seven FREE parenting videos. Each video is packed with cutting edge content to take your relationship with your teen to a whole new place. Just click on the link.
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