An integral part of wise parenting is progressively giving up your power as parent, as your child learns to take more responsibility to manage their own life. There will always be a need for structure and rules. However the rules and limits you choose to implement should evolve as your child grows. Ignoring these guidelines means jeopardizing the health of your parent teenager relationship.
A good place to begin, is to look at the three most worn paths taken in the parent teenager relationship in terms of implementing rules and limits.
With teenagers facing increased temptation to drink, smoke, take drugs, hang out with their friends and engage in premature sex, many parents decide to become stricter in their parenting.
Then there are some parents who go the complete opposite way and decide to take a step back. It means rules and limits become lax. These parents think it is much preferred to do this than to engage in a power struggle with their teenager who naturally is looking for greater freedom.
Still, there are some parents who try not to change at all. They think that their parenting has so far worked well so they maintain the status quo.
The truth is that none of these three approaches is likely to work very well and will probably back fire and be detrimental to the parent teenager relationship.
If your decision is to become more strict as your child becomes a teenager, you can expect some fireworks from your kid who is naturally looking for more freedom. That being the case, your parent teenager relationship will be strained and even damaged.
If you decide to do away with rules and limits, your teenager may find their way to interact with certain people who regularly engage in high risk behaviors. Research reveals that most teenagers are inclined to take risks unless adults pull them up. This is particularly the case when a parent has effectively withdrawn from the parent teenager relationship.
If your choice is to keep on parenting in the same way that you always have, you can expect a lot of ongoing conflict in your parent teenager relationship. This is because your teenager will most likely feel like they are being treated like they are still a ten year old.
So what really is the best approach? What approach can you take that will most likely result in a win for you, the parent, your teenager and your parent teenager relationship?
The way to go lies in a gradual step by step easing of restrictions placed on your teenager as they show an increased capacity to be responsible. Be patient and take baby steps with your teenager, linking the changes in the rules that you implement with their capacity to manage themselves well. When you decide to ease a restriction, observe how your teenager responds. If they deal with their greater freedom in a mature and responsible way, then you can rest assured that you made a good choice. Alternatively, if your teenager is not handling their greater freedom in a responsible manner, then revert back to the previous rule for as long as it takes.
A good place to begin, is to look at the three most worn paths taken in the parent teenager relationship in terms of implementing rules and limits.
With teenagers facing increased temptation to drink, smoke, take drugs, hang out with their friends and engage in premature sex, many parents decide to become stricter in their parenting.
Then there are some parents who go the complete opposite way and decide to take a step back. It means rules and limits become lax. These parents think it is much preferred to do this than to engage in a power struggle with their teenager who naturally is looking for greater freedom.
Still, there are some parents who try not to change at all. They think that their parenting has so far worked well so they maintain the status quo.
The truth is that none of these three approaches is likely to work very well and will probably back fire and be detrimental to the parent teenager relationship.
If your decision is to become more strict as your child becomes a teenager, you can expect some fireworks from your kid who is naturally looking for more freedom. That being the case, your parent teenager relationship will be strained and even damaged.
If you decide to do away with rules and limits, your teenager may find their way to interact with certain people who regularly engage in high risk behaviors. Research reveals that most teenagers are inclined to take risks unless adults pull them up. This is particularly the case when a parent has effectively withdrawn from the parent teenager relationship.
If your choice is to keep on parenting in the same way that you always have, you can expect a lot of ongoing conflict in your parent teenager relationship. This is because your teenager will most likely feel like they are being treated like they are still a ten year old.
So what really is the best approach? What approach can you take that will most likely result in a win for you, the parent, your teenager and your parent teenager relationship?
The way to go lies in a gradual step by step easing of restrictions placed on your teenager as they show an increased capacity to be responsible. Be patient and take baby steps with your teenager, linking the changes in the rules that you implement with their capacity to manage themselves well. When you decide to ease a restriction, observe how your teenager responds. If they deal with their greater freedom in a mature and responsible way, then you can rest assured that you made a good choice. Alternatively, if your teenager is not handling their greater freedom in a responsible manner, then revert back to the previous rule for as long as it takes.
About the Author:
Are you less thansatisfied with your current parent teenager relationship? If so, parenting guru, Paul Saver is offering 7 FREE parenting videos. Each video is jampacked with state of the art material to help you raise your teenager to become asatisfied, confident, successful and responsible adult. Just click on the link.
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